def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
