i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
