Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
