Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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