That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
