hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
