your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize