M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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