I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
