Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
