Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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