Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
