No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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