I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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