I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As shirtless as possible
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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