Dual....:-)
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i need some magic done to my vagina
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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