just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
MIDGETS
????
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
