But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
