just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
