i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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