He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
