How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize