He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
