Cold hands, warm shart.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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