awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
