I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
