Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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