What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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