And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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