im drinking this country out of the recession.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
His nipple licking is glorious
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