She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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