There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
