Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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