There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
