My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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