Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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