I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
