I CAN MOONWALK!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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