Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
