He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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