I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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