I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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