I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
