bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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