chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
false alarm. still invincible.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
