WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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