I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...