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He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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