It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
