Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
