i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
