Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

Fav 21 756 2373
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(224): View more from Illinois

it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

Fav 11 982 2878
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(732): View more from New Jersey

the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on

Fav 41 7097 1107
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This house was built for laser tag.

Fav 14 9289 984
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

whose oscar?

(203): View more from Connecticut

the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

Fav 29 9313 1222
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(315): View more from New York

We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same

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(618): View more from Illinois

Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.

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(801): View more from Utah

This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack

Fav 2 167 91
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.

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