Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
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He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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