Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
