that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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