Ambien. No doubt about it.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
