hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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