Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm just crazy horny about you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
