I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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