I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
